I woke up this morning thinking that I would be really productive and get all of my work done.
I mean… I’d still like to, and plan on it, mostly. But I got side-tracked, as usual, and found myself writing. Then I was listening to Street Scene (our opera for the spring), and then I was here.
I said it in my last post, but it’s been a while. I feel sorry that I don’t force myself to write more. Even if it’s just my own musings, my own stream of consciousness, it still counts, right? I suppose I just feel bad sometimes because my stream of consciousness is not the most captivating nor the most interesting and I don’t want to waste anyone’s time.
On the other hand, though, it’s really easy for anyone bored or annoyed to click the little x in the corner of a screen. And it’s really easy for me to come up with excuses not to write.
Bad segue, but I really want to complete NaNoWriMo this November. I tried last year, and I tried the Summer Camp option in August. Much to my dismay (but not surprise) I can’t make myself dedicate. I can’t carve out fifteen minutes a day to channel my brain into writing mode. I can’t create believable characters because I’m so concerned with their believability (or lack thereof) that I give up altogether. I let my fear of what might be overwhelm me and I decapitate myself before I even start.
I don’t want to do that this year. Here, or for Nano, or in Intro to Lyric Theatre class. Or in life. I don’t want to short-change myself before I even embark on a task.
So here we go, new task. Write a blog a day until my birthday, 30 September, regardless of the topic or the logic of it or even the stupid sentence structure. And I’ll try not to let myself down here.