Refusal to take myself seriously

It’s the end! Of the second year. Oh boy, oh my. Oh dear.

But here I am, still in one piece. Actually, I think I might be more whole than I was coming into school this summer. And I’m definitely more of a real person than I was at the beginning (middle, or end) of my freshman year.

It’s amazing, how much a span of a few months can change a person. March was the month of change for me, and it catapulted right into April with that same new, thrilling momentum. Now here we are in May, and all I can think of is summertime, cool breezes and hot sun, learning my music and keeping up with my language and theory skills. Not that I have a great deal of those, just to clarify. But I’d like to try to keep up.

That’s all I really want to do, to be honest. Learn, and drink coffee and sit outside with my dogs. But I’ll be working.

Anyway. Total change in subject now. So. I guess that last post was mostly me drinking. I don’t usually drink and write– normally I know better. But I’d gone out and come back within the span of an hour and a half, and I hadn’t felt tired.

But I had felt alone, and lonely with it, I suppose. That’s not really my style, to be clear. I love to be alone. In fact, I often prefer it; I’m more productive, and certainly more sociable when I finally do see people. I guess there’s something about a two o’ clock on a Tuesday morning that brings out the sentimental in me.

I can’t help but laugh it off, though. I’ve been really silly lately and I’m blaming it on the end of the semester and three and a half more finals to go. Speaking of, I’d better keep studying for Deutsch, and I think I’ve lost my voice final… Uhg. Maybe I’ll return to WordPress before I set out for the rustic land of dial-up internet. In case I don’t though, bis später!

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To whom it may concern

If I may be honest with you, I’d like to say something. I’ve only been drinking a little bit, so really I shouldn’t have to preface it with an “if I may be honest.” Oh, well.

I think we should go out sometime. Coffee. A walk. Both. Whatever, I don’t care. Just time together would be cool, before summer begins and time starts ticking away. We don’t know each other very well, not yet, and having an opportunity to see you, to talk to you? I’d be so happy.

I know how silly I am. I’m a romantic when it comes right down to it and I’m only a little ashamed. But I can’t help myself, and I can’t help feeling a certain sense of urgency when it comes to you. I can’t help feeling like Laetitia in Menotti’s “The Old Maid and the Thief,” willing her clueless interest to steal her away before time steals away her vivacity.

I’d try to sit back and simply will you to ask me out but I don’t think that’s going to happen. So I’m going to ask you to coffee, if the opportunity arises. Nothing pressured, nothing stressful. Really. That’s all. Before time’s flight steals my youth.