Sometimes you just need a time to not think. To forget– or at least, not dwell on much– how insignificant or misconstrued your life is or has become. To disregard your acne or your ugly hair or chipping nail polish. As you try to ignore the fading natural light or the uncomfortable chill in the air or the constant miserable lurch and clatter of the bus.
There are times when you need that stillness. But when you take those moments, thoughts leak in seeping like a familiar ooze of blood from an oft-picked scab. Thoughts like, “there are so many problems to solve– how–?” or “what if the bus crashes?” or the recurring “life sucks.” But these viscous thoughts twine and blend in a way that makes it impossible to hold onto any one of them for very long. You pass an interesting building or the cold shifts and slaps your face, or you’re reminded of your undone theory homework and the world continues its spin, dragging (or leading?) your mind along.