I don’t know if I want to know where this will lead

There are some things you just don’t want to see
Some things you don’t want to admit to yourself
I find myself wondering every once in a while
If for you, one of those… is me.

Why is it that whenever I think something is so simple, just lovely and perfect and hitting with elegant timing, it’s just a joke? I’m one of many, I know now. It’s one thing to think I am, in my head… another to see it. It’s cliche to say that something’s too good to be true but in this particular case that’s the ticket. Perhaps I shouldn’t have looked. Perhaps I shouldn’t have let curiosity get the better of me. I had a bad feeling about it: why didn’t I just follow impulse, like usual? But isn’t that what got me into this situation? Simple instinct.

So I guess I’ll have to rely on instinct to get me out of it unharmed and happy. I’m sure I’ll learn something… but as of this moment I’ve kind of gotten myself in a hole and unsure of where to go. On the one hand I’d like to stay there and see who joins me. On the other I want to start climbing my way back out, and running as far as I can in the opposite direction.

We’ll just see. There’s time yet to figure it out.

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