November blue? Make that December puce

So I haven’t written in a long time. Not unless it’s been for a class, or in music form.

I don’t know that there’s much I can cram into one post, especially since it’s late. I will say this: I am being challenged. I am being challenged on a daily basis to do everything I need to. It’s on the verge of being overwhelming, but this is what I asked for. Pleaded for, really. The concept that I can handle this much intensity, this much pressure, and have come from a rural small town school is unusual to me, now. I think it must be my parents who made the difference. Or specific teachers in honors courses that encouraged me. Why aren’t other kids so encouraged? I know that maybe three or four kids from my graduating class could withstand this much pressure. Perhaps more from the current seniors there could, as well. But this is craziness. I’m getting to bed at almost one o’clock on a Thursday, and this is not for lack of focus throughout the day. There’s simply not enough time to finish everything before now. And my first class tomorrow is at eight thirty.

I wonder what next semester will be like. I think I’m taking three more credits in the spring: that’ll be twenty one. Double majoring is going to be a bitch. A productive, wonderful, sassy and difficult bitch, but a bitch nonetheless. I mean, I’ve been taking all of the Music Ed courses all along so far, so I’m pretty much doing it already. I’m so crazy.

But I’m here, and that’s what matters. I’m trying and wearing myself out but I do take time (like, a half hour tops, but I take time) to unwind and wait for the tension to trickle off a little. That decompression is so necessary, I’ve discovered. As is sleep, and food, and orange juice. And caffeine. By God.

It’s just surprising. Still. That I’m even at Eastman, that I’m even participating actively in such a place. I mean… it’s Eastman. I try to ignore that fact that this is a big-deal school but it does tend to crop up whenever anyone who brushes against the musical universe has something to say.

But, thankfully Christmas break is nearly here (just two more weeks as of today/Friday).

First semester: almost over. Next semester: let’s see whatcha got.


* This blog needed some color in it, so here’s a lovely wave I found on stumbleupon. Also, I’ve mostly been posting to tumblr lately because it’s really simple and easy when I don’t have time to write. It’s mainly images and quotes and links to this blog, but if you’re interested, check out the link. I think it’s at the top of this page someplace? Anyway. Have a great night/morning!

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