I feel so old.
I’m sitting in Starbucks right now at the River Campus. I just finished my theory and diction assignments and am kind of not doing anything productive. But that’s okay, because I haven’t been on facebook yet since I’ve gotten here and the caramel thing I got is amazing.
I just read a few really old blog entries of mine. This is my second wordpress blog, so I could have gone back to the old one and checked out some really ancient things, but I was curious about myself as I was this past summer. It must be the psycho-analytical obsession leaking back, because recent events have led me to wonder whether or not I instigate a pattern with people. This might seem a little unclear.
In plain speaking, I think I intimidate boys and then they think they can either A.) take advantage of me because I like them and I’m scary but now they’re in control or B.) totally ignore me and pretend they don’t know me because they don’t want to get involved but don’t have enough balls to say so to my face.
So I was looking back (there are some entries where I thought I mentioned my summer and the boys that happened then) and wondering what it is that I do that seems to negate the possibility of anything taking shape in that direction.
I think I’ve come to the decision to stop thinking about it. After cruising through the bummed-out words of my July-self, then sifting over the stress of August days, I think it’s just not worth it.