I’ve been distracting myself lately.
If I don’t, that deep cold clutch of fear in the belly gives a yank and tugs me under.
It woke me at five this morning, nauseating me. Rippled, acidly, through my nerves until I couldn’t breathe. Dizzy, I stumbled upstairs to drown in coffee. Necessary, but the caffeine just jittered an already faltering system.
I need distraction. Otherwise I just make myself sick.
I’m excited, right? I keep telling myself that. I need this change. It’s a vital step, a crucial part of my life.
But oh God, I’m so scared, so freaking SICK of waiting. The anxiety is wrecking my nerves. Just get me to school and living, already.